Mark Normand Demanded Netflix Say Muslims Are “A Dangerous People”
"I don't give a shit, but it was fun to get a group of HR homos to go, 'All right, they're dangerous.'"
I’m sorry to send you two newsletters in a row about Mark Normand, but this one is also about something bigger than Mark Normand, specifically Netflix, distributor of his latest special. On an episode of his podcast Tuesdays with Stories released last night, Normand tells his cohost (and fellow Louis CK opener) Joe List about a call he had with Netflix a few weeks ago. As he describes, he’d sent a list of jokes to be used in social media promos, only for Netflix came back with a request to cut a joke about Muslims from the special, supposedly because the streamer previously received threats over another comic’s jokes about Muslims. Normand said he liked the joke too much to lose it, negotiating down to cutting it from the promo clips—on the condition that Netflix acknowledge to him, right there on the call, that Muslims “are a dangerous people,” which he says they did.
Seth Simons
Below you’ll find the story in the Riyadh Comedy Festival headliner’s own words. I’ll note here that the clip is dubbed such that he appears to say “Hulu,” but keen observers will see that he clearly says “Netflix,” which is obviously the only company he could possibly be talking about. (I've reached out to the streamer for comment and will update this post if I hear back.)
Normand: So it's coming out. [Dub:] Hulu sent me, about a week ago or two weeks ago, they said, "Send us a couple jokes you like. We'll chop them up and use that as promo on social media.” […] So I go, "Oh, no problem. I like this joke. I like this joke. I like this joke." And they said, "Great." They come back in a week, they go, "We gotta do a conference call." And I go, "Oh, that's not good. I hate a conference call. There's 18 Jews on there with a speakerphone and my Jews." And they go, "Yeah, we got some bad news there. We reviewed the special again. We'd like to take out the Muslim joke." I got a big joke about Muslims. And I go, "Huh, why?" And they go, "Well, last time a comic did a Muslim joke, we got bomb threats. We got death threats. They said they were going to kill us, ruin the whole studio, blow the place up to smithereens. So we'd like to not use the Muslim joke."
List: Smithereens.
Normand: And I go, "Well, I like the joke. It kills. It's a hot joke and no one touches Muz."
List: I like the idea of Islamic extremists using smithereens. "We blow you up to smithereens."
Normand: Yeah, you never know. It's a common term. […] So I'm on the call like, oh, I thought this was gonna be like, "We're cutting your money. We're taking this special down. We don't like you. Stop writing us letters." But they were like, "We wanna take out the Muslim joke." And they're very—
List: Of the whole special, not just the clip?
Normand: Well, that's what I thought. So I was like, "I've gotta fight for the joke here, folks. You approved it. Now you're going back." And they're like, "Well, okay, well keep it in the hour, but we gotta get it off socials." And I said, "Why? What's the difference?" And they go, "Well, socials is where all the shit starts.”
List: Right.
Normand: You go put shit on the internet, that's where the fire fucking kicks up, the pile on, the retweets, the sharing. You can't comment on a TV screen.
List: Right.
Normand: So they're like, "Well, we gotta take it off. So that's a no-brainer." And I was like, "Okay, okay. I don't love it, but okay. I will take it off on one condition." And they said, "All right, what do you want to hear? What do you want? " And I go, "I want you to admit on this call that they’re a dangerous people."
List: Oh, geez.
Normand: And they were like, "What? No. What are you crazy?" And I'm like, "You got to admit it. Or I'm posting it."
List: Wow.
Normand: I'm half joking, but they were like, "Uhhh," you could hear like a "Buhh-buhh" in the back like a horse was walking through. And I was like, "That's all I need." And they go, "Well, we're not gonna do that." And I'm like, "Why not?" They go, "Well, that's offensive." And I go, "That's what the call is. You're calling about this and I just need you to say it out loud." You know me. I need acknowledgement, Jerry.
List: I like acknowledgement. Everyone wants acknowledgement.
Normand: But it's kind of a microcosm of the whole thing of like, you can say, "Hey, I love this group." But then you don't live near them.
List: Right.
Normand: We're all talk, we're all signaling, we're all virtuous, but you don't actually act that way.
List: Right.
Normand: And I think this is a perfect example of that. "Hey, we're scared. Hey, we don't want to get head-bowed. We're nervous." "Okay. Well, why are you nervous?" "Well, come on, shut up."
List: Right.
Normand: Yeah. So that's what I was getting at. So they admitted it. [List farts into the microphone.] Hey, speaking of bombing.
List: That's the end of the clip. Yeah, no, I get it. I mean, it's nice to be like, “You gotta say the thing.” It's like A Few Good Men. "You gotta ask me nicely."
Normand: Yes, yes. Exactly.
List: Was that a good impression?
Normand: That was really good. That was a very good Nicholson. […] I got a Muslim friend, Umar is a big Muz. I don't give a shit, but it was fun to get a group of HR homos to go, "All right, they're dangerous. We'll see you later."
List: Zip-a-dee-doo-dah. Bye-bye.
Normand: That was a lot of fun. So, big phone call.
You may be wondering what, exactly, is the nature of the joke that Netflix was allegedly so afraid of, and which Normand considered too “hot” to cut. Well, there are two options. He could be referring to this bit early in the special:
Normand: One of my friends, she has a teenage daughter, she's like, "Ugh, she's going through all these phases. First she went through a promiscuous pothead phase. Now she's going through a Muslim phase. I don't know what the hell to do with that." I was like, "Hey, slut to Muslim. That's not bad. Well, think about it. Now she's on her knees five times a day for a different reason. And she can write a book: 'From Blowjobs to Hijabs.'" She's like, "Yeah, I guess, but you think she'll stop smoking weed?" I was like, "Well, she is a Muslim woman. She could still get stoned."
[Applause break]
Uh-oh. Uh-oh, Muslim joke. All right. Well, you laughed at the Jew shit, just trying to keep it even. My friend is Muslim, I ran that by him. He was like, "Yeah, I like the joke, but I feel like you cherry-picked from the stereotype. You're not going off the full Muslim menu." I'm like, "Yeah, I guess you're right. I did kind of go Allah carte."
Or he could mean this bit, a little later:
Normand: I saw a Muslim woman recently at a restaurant. She was chewing out the waitress, she was like, “I want to speak to your manager.” My friend goes, “Watch out for her, she’s a real Karen.” “Well, she’s Muslim, she’s more of a Koran.”
There are, of course, two billion Muslims in the world, many of whom watch Netflix or even work for it. If Normand is telling the truth, then the streamer just threw them all under the bus for a little racist wordplay.
Seth Simons
Seth Simons
Seth Simons
Seth Simons
