Whitney Cummings Goes Off the Deep End

I must confess I have been morbidly fascinated by Whitney Cummings’ public descent into conspiracism, manifesting most recently in a bizarre appearance during CNN’s New Year’s Eve special last week. At the end of her “roast of 2024,” a mostly hackish and misogynistic rehash of the last year (“Gypsy Rose became our favorite celebrity because murdering your mom is so brat,” “Things got so bleak we started watching the WNBA!”) that she concluded in typical Heterodox Comedian fashion by listing things “the establishment media” refuses to cover. The clip is worth watching, I think, but here’s the tail end:

2024 Election fried our brains. The Democrats couldn't hold a primary 'cause they were too busy holding a body upright. Are we still rolling? Am I off? It was amazing that the pro-choice party didn't give their voters one when it came to the presidential candidate. Kamala was forced on us so hard, you'd think she was patented by Pfizer or Moderna, whichever one's—oh god, Andy just gave me a very scary look. 

Let me be clear, though. 2024 was not only negative, the media wants us to believe this country is so divided, but we actually came together a lot this year. Like as a nation, we unanimously agreed that we would rather see J-Lo in a toxic relationship than in concert. We all agree the government totally knows what drones are and are telling us. The drones are still up there and we have no idea what's behind them. No idea. I mean, they're still up in the sky. So I guess we can rule out that they were made by Boeing. 

The point is, I think we all agree on a lot of things. And since I only have a minute left live on establishment media, why don't we just say a bunch of things that we know that they'll never cover. Okay, ready, go. Trump shooter didn't have any silverware in his house. No one thought that was weird. Are we still rolling? Crown Prince of Saudi Arabia put money into Disney, so just know there won't be any girl characters in the next Cars movie.

Can I, are we still rolling? This is wild. Why have so many presidents' chefs died? Weird. And Boy Scout of America, they renamed itself Scouting America. You know who else changed their name? Sean Combs. Just saying, let's learn something in 2025. I can't believe you guys are still letting me go. This is amazing. I love CNN. Please stop me, Andy. 'Cause I will just keep going. Am I still streaming? 

I think the clip is worth watching because you need to see it to believe that Cummings does not seem to be putting on an act with all those asides—instead, she seems genuinely nervous that she might get cut off for saying the unsayable on “establishment media.” Indeed, she explained on Twitter the next day that she was scared during her segment; given her long history of complaining about censorship, I’m inclined to believe her.