Tim Dillon on "Bitch" Greta Thunberg: "Kill her. Kill her. Kill her!"

The plight of the reactionary contrarian comedian is that even when people of certain identities share your ostensible political goals, it doesn’t count, and in fact those people are frauds and narcissists. Hence Tim Dillon called Hannah Einbinder a “dumb bitch” and a “psychopath” for a pro-Palestine she gave in March; hence he criticized her again for waiting too long to say “free Palestine” after she gave a similar speech last month, apparently forgetting all about the earlier speech; and hence he yesterday called for Israel to murder Greta Thunberg. 

He did so in his usual mode, which is to say so many hyperbolically awful things in a single monologue that the ones he doesn’t sincerely mean become indistinguishable from the ones he does, giving each individual statement an impregnable shield of plausible deniability: 

Dillon: Did Israel kill Greta Thunberg? Did they kill her or not? This flotilla. This Greta Thunberg. She keeps getting on this boat. I don't know what's going on with the news, but this is my understanding of the news. Israel keeps telling this bitch don't get on this boat, and she keeps getting on this boat and she's got food for the people in Gaza. And the Israel keeps going, don't get on this boat, and she keeps getting on the boat. Then they keep boarding the boat and don't they keep kicking her off and she keeps getting back on this boat?

They're going to have to kill her. I'm for them killing her. I'm for Israel killing her. I'm not for a lot of what they're doing in Gaza, but I am for them killing Greta Thunberg and I will defend it. If Netanyahu and Israel kill Greta Thunberg, I will defend it on this show for free. I know they're spreading money around, $7,000 a post, so I hear. I'll do it for free if you kill Greta Thunberg. Kill her, though. Burn her alive. I don't want any half-measures. I don't want her to have a broken leg or she's temporarily uncomfortable. 

If Israel kills her, like full on firebombs that flotilla, I will defend it. Because she's starting to annoy me now with this boat. It's not going to—I mean, yes, it helps a little bit, but there's more going on here than just you in this boat. The people in Gaza need more than whatever this bitch has on a boat. Stop getting on this boat. People don't want you on this boat. It's not all about you. And the climate is fine. I don't like how annoying she is. Israeli occupation forces have detained Greta Thunberg and dozens of participants aboard the global Sumud Flotilla, including journalists, while illegal interception attempts of the remaining boats are still ongoing. When was this? 

Producer: This was six hours ago.

Dillon: Just bomb this boat. I'm bored of this boat. I've been hearing about this boat for months. They keep getting close. Who does this help? They know they're gonna get boarded. They know they're gonna get redirected. It's an exercise in vanity for this dumb fucking whatever she is. Where does she even come from, Greta Thunberg? Where is it? Norway, Denmark? Whatever. She keeps doing this and she knows what's going to happen. Sweden. Whatever. She keeps doing this on this boat and everyone knows what's gonna happen. You're gonna get close to Israel and then they're gonna board you and they're going to turn it around and then they probably take the food and eat it themselves. They're not gonna give that food out now that they got it on your boat. They're gonna take it and eat it themselves. Light that boat up. Light it up. Oh, let's hear from her. I don't like that she's in a life jacket. Nothing is less metal than this. This is not cool. Let's hear from her. 

Thunberg (clip): My name is Greta Thunberg. I'm currently on board the boat Alma as part of the global Sumud Flotilla, a peaceful humanitarian mission to deliver aid to the civilian population of Gaza and to break Israel's illegal and inhumane siege. And it's likely to believe that we will be intercepted tonight by Israel, which would be a blatant violation of humanitarian and maritime law. Israel is not immune to international law. 

Dillon: They are, though. I mean, listen. Listen. We gotta start dealing with the world as it is here. And there's no, this woman's not doing it. Kill her. Kill her. Kill her! I'm sorry. I'm trying to be good here now. I want to heal the divides. Kill her! Bibi, kill her. And you know why? I'm bored of this crap. We need to move on. I'm sick of the Middle East. It bores me. And I'm bored of this Swedish woman. "I'm Greta Thunberg, I'm on the flotilla." Israel, they blow everyone up, they don't care. "They're not immune to international—" They're doing whatever they wanna do. They're doing whatever wanna to do. "They're not immune to international law." Yes they are, they're doing whatever—international law is fake. "Well, it shouldn't be." But it is. Shut up. "I'm in the flotilla—" I'm just, I'm not, I'm not participating anymore. I'm not participating anymore in people that don't—we're doing only realpolitik now of what really is happening. And nothing interests me less than this flotilla of boats going over there. Get a peace process. Whatever you're gonna do, release the hostages, build the sphere, whatever the trade-off is over there in a peace thing.

Yes, there it is, the kernel of truth amidst the performance: activists risking their lives for the people of Gaza are unrealistic about the potential for direct action to alleviate Gazans’ suffering or draw attention to Israel’s flagrantly illegal conduct, which Dillon, a multimillionaire podcaster, claims to oppose. And because the secret to comedy is timing, he released this episode a few hours before reports emerged that Israel was literally torturing Thunberg for her efforts: 

In an email sent by the Swedish foreign ministry to people close to Thunberg, and seen by the Guardian, an official who has visited the activist in prison said she claimed she was detained in a cell infested with bedbugs, with too little food and water.

“The embassy has been able to meet with Greta,” reads the email. “She informed of dehydration. She has received insufficient amounts of both water and food. She also stated that she had developed rashes which she suspects were caused by bedbugs. She spoke of harsh treatment and said she had been sitting for long periods on hard surfaces.”

“Another detainee reportedly told another embassy that they had seen her [Thunberg] being forced to hold flags while pictures were taken. She wondered whether images of her had been distributed,” the Swedish ministry’s official added.

The allegation was corroborated by at least two other members of the flotilla who had been detained by Israeli forces and released on Saturday.

“They dragged little Greta [Thunberg] by her hair before our eyes, beat her, and forced her to kiss the Israeli flag. They did everything imaginable to her, as a warning to others,” the Turkish activist ErsinÇelik, a participant in the Sumud flotilla, told Anadolu news agency.

Lorenzo D’Agostino, a journalist and another flotilla participant, said after returning to Istanbul that Thunberg was “wrapped in the Israeli flag and paraded like a trophy” – a scene described with disbelief and anger by those who witnessed it.

Well, too bad: it doesn’t interest him. He’s bored.

An Incomplete Record of Things Netflix’s Tim Dillon Has Said About Trans People, Andrew Tate, and Immigration

For posterity.

HumorismSeth Simons