“He hit us with the jizya”: Andrew Schulz Gets Super Racist About Mamdani Win

Andrew Schulz wasted no time after Zohran Mamdani’s historic win this week, taking credit for the victory in the latest episode of his podcast Flagrant and making a characteristically shameless series of Islamophobic jokes about the mayor-elect, including suggestions—reminiscent of last week's extremely racist jokes by Schulz's friends Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas—that Mamdani secretly plans to institute Islamic rule and a tax on non-Muslims.

Comedians Call Zohran Mamdani a “Sneaky Muslim” Trying to Advance “Muslim Agenda”

These People Are All Just Racists, Part 10,000.

HumorismSeth Simons

Here’s the opening segment, in which Schulz describes himself and his cohosts as “kingmakers” who got “some African running the greatest city in the world”:

Schulz: What's up, everybody? Welcome to the most powerful podcast on the fucking planet.

Akaash Singh: Let's go.

Schulz: All right.

Mark Gagnon: We fucking did it, dude.

Schulz: Put some respect on our names. All right. We getting dictators elected. We getting communists elected. Whoever the fuck we want. Tell that to Curtis Sliwa, who was ducking us.

Gagnon: Andrew Yang, remember that?

Schulz: Andrew Yang wanted to give all y'all $1,000. We want you to get your money. But then what happened? He got scared. Now he's selling bubble tea in the East Village.

Singh: Kamala. Doing her little book tour. You could have been president.

Schulz: What the fuck is she doing right now? Could have been President of the United States of America, okay. Now we got some African guy running the greatest city in the world. So that's our second time that's happened. All right guys, so what's the deal? Should we charge more for ads? What's really going on? When you have this much power, when you really have this much—because we want all the credit. If we got all the credit for getting Trump elected—

Singh: You better keep that same energy.

"We gave you Trump. Be happy."

Schulz: We want all the credit.

Singh: Don't start slicing thin now.

Schulz: Don't slice it thin now. “Oh, it was up 90% whatever." No, we don't want to hear that.

Gagnon: Unless there's a stabbing or something under Zohran, in which case we had nothing to do with it.

Schulz: Oh, yeah.

Gagnon: Unless things go sideways, in which case.—yeah.

Singh: “A” stabbing? "A" stabbing? You gotta give us more than "a" stabbing.

Gagnon: Well, we gotta see what happens. We got to see—and then we'll see.

Schulz: Well actually, you know what? To slice even thinner, we want the left to give us all the credit, because they're very happy right now.

Gagnon: Oh, yeah.

Schulz: So give us all the credit, because you scapegoated us for Trump, but we want all the credit. But then the right, when you're upset, that's not on us.

Gagnon: Yeah, we had nothing to do with it.

Schulz: We didn't have anything to do—

Singh: We gave you Trump. Be happy.

Schulz: Exactly. We gave you both gifts. We're very benevolent. We might be the most benevolent podcast on the planet.

And here’s the bit where, repeatedly using the slur “Muzzies,” Schulz and his cohosts joke that Sharia law is coming to New York; that Mamdani will institute the jizya, a tax on non-Muslims; and that he is practicing taqiyya, or lying about his faith:

Dov Mamann (producer): It should be better for y'all. Sharia Law now.

Gagnon: Yeah. Facts.

Singh: Hey, I told my missus to shut up yesterday, soon as Zohran won.

Schulz: Getting ahead of it?

Singh: As soon as Zohran won, it's like, "Hey, shh."

Schulz: She was celebrating too loud?

Singh: Get off TikTok, yo. It was too much, now. Cover your fucking head, you want to watch some TikToks? Cover your fucking head, before you [unintelligible].

Schulz: Cover your fucking heads. When are we covering these girls up? Man, that's a good point. You should be able to see a girl doing a TikTok on the street, and then wrap a fucking sheet over her.

Singh: Thousand percent.

Schulz: You should be able to do that in the new New York.

Gagnon: Yes.

Schulz: Shouldn't you?

Gagnon: We need religious police.

Schulz: If we have Sharia law.

Media: Yes.

"Muzzies, they gotta give 10% of their wealth to charity or whatever. But they don't have to pay that jizya 2.5. You don't have to give 10% of your wealth to charity. You pay 2.5, and you don't even gotta fight in the wars. You get to live in the Muzzy country, 2.5% tax rate, and you don't even gotta defend yourself. They're gonna defend you."

Schulz: A hundred percent. I already told Al during Brilliant Idiots, he gotta pay the jizya.

Singh: The jizya tax?

Schulz: You gotta pay the jizya too. You gotta pay the jizya too.

Media: I thought it was some shit, right? I thought it was—we looked it up, it's real.

Gagnon: [Cross-talk] So do you. Why not?

Schulz: I'm Muslim now, bro. I am Muslim. Assalamu alaikum. Assalamu alaikum, my boy.

Singh: You call it a non-Muslim tax, I call it a going to heaven tax.

Schulz: Yo, that jizya, I was looking up that jizya. That is a great deal. I don't know why anybody was complaining in that throughout this thing.

Singh: Okay, tell me. Explain it to me.

Schulz: You gotta pay like 2.5%. Okay?

Singh: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Schulz: Wait, wait. Hear me out, my boy. Just hear me out.

Singh: I just have to—there's a little coincidence.

Schulz: Just hear me out, my boy. Just hear me out, my boy. Muzzies, they gotta give 10% of their wealth to charity or whatever. Okay?

Singh: Charity.

Schulz: But they don't have to pay that jizya 2.5. You don't have to give 10% of your wealth to charity. You pay 2.5, and you don't even gotta fight in the wars. You get to live in the Muzzy country.

Singh: Wow.

Schulz: 2.5% tax rate.

Singh: Light work.

Schulz: And you don't even gotta defend yourself. They're gonna defend you.

Singh: That's awesome.

Gagnon: Yeah, and you get to yell at your wife. Everyone wins, bro.

"This is the first step to taqiyya. That's how the Muslims sneak in Islam with an openly Muslim guy that’s running the city. And he’s sneaking it in, real sneaky."

Schulz: This is why I think that the other religions don't last in Muslim countries, because they're jealous.

Gagnon: Oh, they just switch up.

Schulz: So, these motherfuckers don't gotta die. They only gotta pay the jizya. So, we're coughing up 10%. These Muslim countries, like we need shit to be more affordable. Is Zohran's policies—

Singh: You know what's crazy is, jizya tax is two percent. How much Zohran taxing millionaires? Two percent.

Schulz: He just hit us with the jizya.

Singh: Son, he hit us with the [unintelligible].

Schulz: He hit us with the jizya. He hit us with the jizya.

Media: Bro, that's fire.

Schulz: It's happening.

Media: It's getting us.

Schulz: The taqiyya. This is the first step to taqiyya.

Singh: Taqiyya.

Schulz: Yeah.

Gagnon: The taqiyya's fire.

Schulz: I just had some taqiyyas at 7-11.

Gagnon: No, that's taquitos.

Media: What's taqiyya? What's that?

Schulz: Taqiyya, man.

Media: What's that?

Schulz: That's how the Muslims sneak in Islam with an openly Muslim guy that’s running the city. And he’s sneaking it in, real sneaky.

Media: They're allowed to lie in order to convert people, or some shit like that?

Gagnon: To save their lives.

Singh: Why would you say that about Muslims, dog? What a crazy thing to say about Muslims.

Schulz: Yeah, this guy. You're a fucking cannibal, dude. You're a cannibal.

It bears repeating every time: Schulz and his friends are huge racists. They spent months begging candidate Mamdani to come on their podcast, he finally did a few weeks ago, and now they’re repaying him with explicitly racist jokes about his faith. Here’s hoping Mayor Mamdani understands that he doesn’t need to play nice with these bigots to implement his agenda.